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This is us

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 the bunny you gave me for my anniversary. The t-shirt the bunny wore read "Luca" so you added RA in front of the print, so that it could state my name.
That's the first sweet thing you did. The second was calling me today, just as my day was ending, and making it happen all over again.
"Can I meet you again?..." you asked, and I was puzzled for not knowing what your question meant.
"Can I meet you again", you insisted. "But you already know me" I said. "I am the same. You know me so well".
Then you told me you had watched "50 First Dates" and I grew so fond of this movie while my heart was melting to a dream where I could fall in love with you every morning, over and over again, while you discovered me as a surprise each day...
If only amnesia helped, I'd take any pill rumored to run the risk. I'd feed it to you, as well. The next best thing after forgetting you would be to discover you once again...

...And the message I sent you reminding you that this weekend marks a full year of US in whatever form we used to be:

What I feel for you is real and girlfriend or no girlfriend I love YOU...It's not easy for me to know you have somebody else plus so many flings, but I tried to adjust and fit in your life for the little you were giving me, although it turns out not to be enough to feed my thirst of you...
Right now there is nothing I can claim from you, I have no justification in your life but my feelings for you.
Sometimes they turn against me when I begin to stress you out. But the truth is I deserved to be there near you, enjoying a movie or whatever...and I know deep down it will never happen...but I cannot help dreaming, and every dream hurts because it outrages me how you can serenely accept that you are loved more than I thought I could ever love, that I could give away everything for you, do anything, that you are at the end of my ego and at the beginning of my joy...A year has passed since you happened in my life and I can't recover, it's been an awful ride sometimes rather than a happy one...and every moment I enjoyed with you was double-scored by sorrow and tears...I need to look into your eyes by the seaside and hold your hand through the salty breeze and know that it's summer again and we survived. That the year behind did not kill the idea of us taking yet another trip together down the highway towards sea and sand, me looking at you driving, loving you at my best.

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