Raluxa's blog: May 2008

Lost in recollections of past events, small and humble, tiresome and shivering in the coldest darkest corner of your life, where you recently placed me, I can only raise my eyes to you and pray for this: Don’t leave me.

We arrived yesterday in Bucharest, partly as a team, partly as enemies, you thinking everything that had happened in the past three days had been my fault. You cleared all your stuff from my car and set off in yours, without a word. I tried, in a couple of messages, to bring you back, at least for a second, into the idea of „US”, but to no avail. You left hurriedly and so far you remain gone. I hit a wall after running so fast and chasing so hard. And now I am smashed.

Bulgaria was supposed to remain last week’s warm memory of us. We were „celebrating” a year since we had met and went to Albena for it. Albena was full of you and me and we acted as the fully-grown couple we never managed to become. It was a successful simulation and it brought the revelation that you and I are still a couple in Bulgaria although nothing back home.

We should have either stayed there or never returned.

But we did not stay and we returned this weekend and nothing was right anymore, starting with the look in your eyes when facing me.

I will probably return to blog about it when I get my head in place. Right now I am heartbroken, ripped apart after losing you after finding you again.

You will never be mine and I cannot chase anymore...

Here are some Albena photos from the best Bulgarian weekend I ever had:

You and me on the Golden Sands Beach - we had just arrived, the rain had just stopped (coincidence?...) and we were heading for Albena but made a quick detour to Golden Sands to check out the resort.

It's one of the few pictures we have together. And I was so happy.

The two pictures below stand one next to the other on the camera.

You did not know I was taking your picture
and I did not know you took mine. Seeing them like this made me smile - we both thought and acted to the same gestures...

Me... camera-playing in the mirror:)

Last but not least, when we returned to Romania to find my car where I had left it, you noticed I had a burnt headlight and fixed it...you were soooo wowsome:)